Rue the Day
by A Tragic Galaxy
Summary: Team Seven is under the rule of a new Sensei: Uchiha Sasuke. Keeping his students alive long enough to pass the chunin exams isn't easy with a hyperactive jinchuriki, an shrieking fangirl, and a porn obsessed geek with an attitude. Drabble format.
1. Waiting

**Inspired by a picture depicting the exact same scenario as the description. **

**Drabble format, intentionally short chapters for swifter updates.**

** . .. .. .. .. . .. . .. **

"Are they expected to be that difficult," Sasuke questioned as he waited in the lobby along with Yuhi Kureina and Sarutobi Asuma.

The academy graduation ceremony was currently taking place, the preassigned teams being announced even as the three jonin spoke. Asuma and Kureina had personally chosen their students ahead of time, but having been delayed with a mission, Sasuke was stuck with the leftovers. He was already regretting his decision to train a new generation of recruits.

"Let's just say..." Kureina and Asuma exchanged a glance, "They're certainly a handful."

Sasuke glowered and folded his arms, wondering how he had landed himself in this mess. Mentally he began calculating the potential hazards of his students.

_Uzamaki Naruto. Jinchuriki, hyperactive, obnoxious, prankster, loud, unable to sit still for five seconds, definitely hyperactive, incapable of performing most basic jutsus. Academic skills: nonexistant. How ever did he graduate the academy?_

_ Haruno Sakura. Bipolar, tempermental, likes to use her fists, emotional, easily discouraged, a nervous wreck concerning anything but academics. Combat skills: minimal. Excellent student, though; at least she has that in her favor._

_ Hatake Kakashi: Impertinent, blasé, stubborn, obsessed with porn reading (even sneaking his favorite paperback series under his desk during classtime), never on time, always covers the lower half of his face. Academic skills: poor effort in class, still manages to land top grades. Combat skills: astounding for his age. _

"You had to land me with both the Hatake and the Uzamaki," Sasuke ranted, glaring at the door as though he could incinerate it with his gaze.

"Hey, I have to put up with that Inazuka's attitude," Kureina retaliated, her triumphant smirk vanishing, "Not to mention one of my students is obsessed with _bugs_." She shuddered at the thought. "Asuma is stuck with Yamanaka Ino _and _Shikamaru, which if not surprasses certainly equals the chaos you'll be facing with those two clowns. We've all got to work with a team of brats who don't know know the first thing about being a shinobi, and there's no sense hosting a competition over who quits first."

With a sly wink Kureina added, "Just in case though, I've got my money on Sasuke. One week with those tornadoes and he'll be begging for an office job, guarenteed."

"Your encouragement is greatly appreciated," Sasuke shot back, mentally cursing the Hokage for assigning him a B rank just before the exams.

"Well, that's the end of class," Kureina noted, glancing at the clock. Grinning wickedly at Sasuke she quipped, "Good luck, _Sasuke Sensei_."

"It's Uchiha Sensei!" Sasuke called after her, earning an unsympathetic chuckle. "No way I'm going to let any kid mutiliate my first name with a double letter initial," he grumbled. What in the world had he gotten himself into?

_Itachi is never going to let me live this down..._


	2. Meet the Students

Sakura fidgetted nervously, a thousand scenarios running through her head. _Okay, so we're going to be meeting our new Sensei in a few minutes... There's nothing to worry about, just introductions... Everything's okay - _

_**Augh! Why did I have to get stuck with **__**Naruto**__**? Not to mention that freak with the mask who's always reading that disgusting series is here, too! Why couldn't I have had Kiba on my team, or even Shikamaru? **__**Ino**__** would have been more preffered at this rate! **_

Kakashi was oblivious to the mental tyrade directed at him as he crouched over his book, eyes rivetted on the well worn pages. Sakura grabbed a blackboard eraser, intending to launch it at his head. _It's not like the chalk dust will be noticeable anyways, not with __**that**__ particular shade of hair._

"Thanks, Sakura!" Naruto said excitably, snatching the eraser before Sakura could carry through with her plan. Hastily he shoved a chair against the wall and balanced precariously on it, carefully placing the eraser on top of the door frame.

"_Naruto_, what are you doing?" Sakura cried out, nearly causing the blond to topple. _Would've served him right if he had fallen! What do you think this is, the first day at the academy?_

Naruto cackled gleefully, rubbing his hands. "The minute the new Sensei walks in through that door, boy is he gonna be surprised!"

"Naruto, you should know better than to prank our teacher!" Sakura berated, though she made no immediate attempt to dislodge the missil. "You could be kicked out and sent back to the academy! Besides, he's a shinobi; he won't fall for such a simple trap."

"I wouldn't be too sure," Kakashi remarked in a monotone, eyes still fixated on the third chapter.

"Well, I think we should take it down," Sakura glowered, noting with satisfaction that Naruto cringed under her gaze. "I don't intend to be blamed for this, and - "

At that moment the door swung open, the eraser catapulting into a free fall. Lean fingers lashed out, catching the destructive impliment before it could reach its intended target. Naruto let out a groan of dissapointment, but Sakura was captivated by the sight before her.

_He's so... hot!_ she realized in awe as the dark haired man examined the eraser in perturb, his eyes shining deep crimson with the kekkai genkai of the Uchiha Clan. He was younger than Sakura expected, and so _amazing_! Dark raven locks stuck out like a duck tail behind his head, setting off his pale skin and elegant features as though he were the image of royalty. Sakura involuntarily let out a sigh, convinced that she was dreaming.

_**Ino, you are so going to regret not being on Naruto's team!**_

Sasuke looked around the room with distaste, returning the eraser to the blackboard shelf with exagerated calm. The three genin stared at him, one cool and indifferent, one annoyed, and the last looking as though she would gladly worship the ground he walked on. Inwardly Sasuke groaned.

_Oh, I've really done myself in this time._


	3. Introductions

"All right, first things first," Sasuke began, counting slowly in his head until he knew he was not going to kill his students. "I already know your names, your academy scores, and what behavior I can expect for the next three weeks." _Which I do __**not**__ look forward to in the least._ "Now it's your turn to tell me a few things I don't know. What are your likes, your dislikes... you interests? Your goals for the future, for example. Why did you choose to become a shinobi?"

"Um, Sensei, can I answer first?" Sakura said eagerly, waving her hand in the air and sighing as he met her eyes.

Sasuke did a mental forehead slap, recognizing the signs of a star struck adolescent. _Something tells me I should have expected this. Itachi is never going to let me hear the end of it._

"Go ahead," Sasuke allowed, knowing he was going to regret ever picking a team.

"As you know, my name is Haruno Sakura," the pinkette pointed out, just in _case _her Sensie had forgotten due to brain overload from Naruto's ranting. "I like... well..." She had _used_ to like Inazuka Kiba very much, but now...

A blush was all Sakura could manage as she glanced sideways at her teacher. "My hobbies are... um... training..." _With Kiba before... and now... well, with Uchiha Sensei, of course! _"And, um... I like - I mean, I _used_ to like dogs, I mean, they're okay, it's just that I don't care for them _as much_ as I used to - "

_This is going to take a while,_ Sasuke bemoaned.

"But anyways, I still like them, um... yeah. Oh, and my goal is to become a _very_ strong ninja." _So I can impress my SO HOT Sensei! _

"That's... fascinating," Sasuke dead panned. This was turning out to be a creative year. "Anything in particular that you don't like?" He almost wondered if he should have bothered asking.

"_**KAKASHI**_!" came the instant screech from the pinkette. The blase genin didn't even flinch.

_She didn't even bother using his first name,_ Sasuke noted. _Girls seem to go to one extreme or another at this age, and she clearly holds a serious grudge against her teammate. Oh, this is going to be a fantastic year._

And they were only one person into the introductions.

"Next," Sasuke waved towards the group, "The bored kid ignoring my speech - is that _porn_ you're reading?"

"It's _only _the most widely selling series in the five nations," Kakashi glared, carefully folding one corner of the page before slipping the paperback into his side pouch. "Haven't you ever read _Icha Icha Paradise?"_

The question was a dare, and Sasuke knew it. "No," he replied with all honesty, "Though I can't say I would surprised if I found a copy of it hidden in my brother's room." _Strike one for the perfect shinobi, and may you never have a day's luck when I leave you to babysit these twerps._

"Exactly my point," Kakashi replied smugly, sitting back on his heels with a satisfied expression. "My name is Kakashi Hatake. I like... different stuff. There are a few things I don't like. My goals... hm, can't say I really have much to say about those."

"Embellish," Sasuke ordered in a dark tone.

"Whoa, hey!" Naruto broke in with a loud exclamation, "Why don't you tell us about yourself, first, if you're going to be so picky about it?"

_I really should be giving these kids a lesson in manners,_ Sasuke considered. Still, it was the first day, and he reluctantly assented with the blonde's statement.

"Very well, then. My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I hate sweets and I have an older brother named Itachi whom I particularely loath at this moment. I like tomatoes, training, and _brats who listen to me when I am talking to them._"

At this point he directed a stern glare at Kakashi, who was idly watching a black cat trot along the path far below. Sakura was already gazing in adoration at her new hero, while Naruto regarded him dubiously.

"My goal is to train you three into fine shinobi without you killing yourselves before you turn twelve," Sasuke finished. "Sakura, you are so far proving the most cooperative member of the squad, and show the most promise of actually passing the future exams."

This was intended as a jibe to goad the other two members of the team into action, and to a point it worked.

"Hn." Kakashi snorted, retrieving his paperback with dissinterest.

Naruto's eyes narrowed and he gave Sakura a sharp look before launching into his own hyperactive ramble. "My name is Uzamaki Naruto! I like trying all different kinds of ramen, especially at Ichiraku's! That's my favorite resteraunt, especially when Iruka Sensei pays for me or I get a free coupon cause then I can go pick whatever flavor I want and I don't even have to wait for the hot water to set in! That's what I hate the most, by the way, is the three minutes it takes for instant ramen to cook. I wish they would make an instant ramen that would really be instant! Ya know, one that doesn't take _all day_ just to get the water boiling, and poured in, and - "

"Yes, I get the picture," Sasuke filled in laguidly.

"And that can take forever when a kid is hungry, ya know?" Naruto paused for breath, "And of course there's my goal, too, and that is..."

_To invent the Instant Instant Ramen._

"To become the greatest Hokage!" Naruto shouted triumphantly. "Then everyone will have to look up to me and give me the respect I deserve!"

Sasuke blinked twice. _That was... unexpected._

"Thank you, Naruto," he nodded dismissively, turning back to Kakashi. "Well? Your turn."

The grey haired kid did not even glance up from his book. "I like _Icha Icha Paradise_. I don't like explaining myself. My goals are undetermined. Satisfied?"

It was a start, at least. Sasuke allowed the matter to drop, reaching into his side pouch and withdrawing two silver bells. A common experiment to gauge a squad's sense of teamwork, the bell test often revealed the true makings of each shinobi.

Sasuke had a feeling this would end badly for him.

"All right, listen up!" he called, lightly kicking the book out of Kakashi's hands and expertly catching it, ignoring the glower sent in his direction. "Tomorrow will be your first training excercise. Seven a.m. sharp, no exceptions. If you're late, consider it your last day on the team. Be prepared for a long day; no skipping meals," Here he regarded Sakura firmly, suspecting she might be capable of "dieting" even at such an early age, "No recreational distractions," At this point he tucked Kakashi's booklet into his back pocket, "And no goofing off." A sharp glare in Naruto's direction was all the explanation neccessary.

"Pardon me, Sensei," Sakura spoke up timidly, batting her eyelashes in an attempt to gain his approval, "But what exactly is this training mission going to involve?"

"You'll find out tomorrow," Sasuke responded vaguely. "Until then, practice on your own and get an adequate night's sleep." Dealing with the brats was enough of a handful without negotiating with them when they were only half awake and cranky to boot. "Seven a.m., no exceptions."

His speech ended, Sasuke hastily made his exit while his sanity was still intact.

"Seven o'clock!" Naruto complained in the background, "Who does this guy think he is, getting us up that early?"

_Why do I always land the most tedious jobs?_ Sasuke carried on his own mental tyrade. No doubt dear brother and cousin Shisui had been spying on him this entire time. He was going to have a thrilling day enduring their taunts upon his return. _One of these days I'll sic the brats on you two, and then who will be the one laughing?_

Given that Shisui was none other than _Shisui,_ a hyperactive terror in his own rights, Sasuke did not want to encourage the thought.


End file.
